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The World did not weep, it did not even notice that it was missing someone. For the World Kevin was nobody, it was as if he was invisible. A ghost moving hearts and lives to a better place, never being able to cross over himself.

He wondered why is it so, that no matter how hard you push, nothing moves or changes. Unable to impact his own life, only a servant for others. He doesn't necessarily mind helping people, but it just gets so lonely to see people come and go. Alone with the thought that nobody even looked back.

What it means to truly be alone?

Lighthouse

A dark and stormy night. The sea has taken it's toll over you. Strength is slipping away, just so very tired.
In our darkest hour when we question our fate, a single flicker of flame burns in one remaining candle. Courageously fighting off the darkness that is in our minds and the bottomless sea. The wind blows so strong and it is coming so close to putting out the fire, the last hope.

Hopelessly I look to the sea, to see a sign, anything to tell me that you're still breathing. It's just darkness. But in my heart I know you're there, I feel you, and you're very much alive. I rekindle the fire in this old lighthouse, that is built like a fortress against the elements. Please make it home, make it home to me. It is cold, and I don't know where you are, but I will not give up. I know you're there, my love.

Lightning strikes and I think I might have seen something on the horizon. My heart leaps, but I have no idea if it's true, my mind could be playing tricks on me. Please be you!
The wind is picking up, kicking cold black water around and I can barely hear my own thoughts.

I try not to worry, because it doesn't make good food. I cook every night, always two portions, one for you and one for me. You always loved my cooking just as much as you love the sea.

Another night it seems, alone. I'm getting used to it, but I really long the day you're here. I'm sure it will come.

I wait for you.

Love.

Existential crisis again or a wizards home getaway

So a young man with a fairly unique flick to his flame(according to me), I find myself best in fields of creative imagination and a developed sense of life irony. I've decided that fair enough if life doesn't treat me just, in the end it doesn't really matter. So I decided to put on my metaphorical wizard hat and take life as fantasy.

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A level 19 wizards' graduation to lvl 20.

Battling existence.

The room was full of incense smoke, the floor was littered in dirty clothes, a broken wine glass and an old dirty mattress. On the mattress lay a young man named Harry. He was laying there staring at a ceiling. Time ticked by so long that Harry had lost track. In the background you can hear Harry's self composed computer dutifully ticking away into the future.

''Fuck...'' Harry remarked to himself.

Silence

The room was still, a steady hum was intruding the background. Apart from the open window and PC, everything was extremely quiet. There was nothing going on.

''This just sucks!'' he said to himself despairingly.

Silence

''There is not a single thought in my head and everything just generally blows..''

Silence

He can see the smoke caressing air and emotion. A single strand of thicker smoke took notice and rushed into the sea of emptiness.

the wind..

he thought to himself.

Perhaps existential crisis is an advanced form of acceptance. The understanding that nothingness is what you have, everything else can be evaluated.

Harry was listening. He was listening to the world, to wait for some kind of calling. The air around him was still, life was still, quiet. Harry didn't know how long or why he was there. He simply didn't have any other ideas. Having done everything required in life is an odd feeling indeed.

He was simply watching life pass by.

Silence

The depths of a functioning me.

So...

In my core, I'm sort of adventurous, but not in the go all out crazy all the time, but more full of inquisitive thoughts.

Now this general disconnection I feel with humans, even though I push very hard on intuition I think I understand and feel what people in general do. I find myself really liking this concept of humanity. Now granted, this does come off a little bit too eccentric. But honestly this is the core of my being. I like to question and experience and honestly I don't feel too much emotional strain in my core no matter the situation. Honestly I'm just a free spirit who falls in love with values, ideas and concepts of being.

Having had a little time of introspection I come to understand that I am precisely where I want to be. In the now. Frankly, I don't put much regard towards the future nor the past, because in the end one hasn't happened and the other one hasn't killed me.