kui lõpp tuleb..

Olen oodanud kaua ning siiani ootan seda hetke kui saan lõpuks öelda hüvasti kõigele, mis siin ,kus ma viibin, on... Kui aeg lõpuks selleni jõuab, et ma enam ootama ei pea, siis ei jää muud üle kui lihtsalt hüüda ''HÜVASTI'' ning kaduda. Ehk naasen kunagi ka tagasi, kuid hetkese soovi, isu, paratamatu tungluse pärast lahkuda, ei suuda ma öelda, kas üldse jõuan siia tagasi. Mind ootab ees lai maailm, kultuur, teadmised, mõistmine, rahu... Selle teekonna läbin kõik, kas üksi või kaaslase abil, kuid teha mul see tuleb :) Ma tahan, et mu kõrv oleks kuulnud sadade kui mitte tuhandete erinevate lindude laulu, ajajooksul miljonites liitrites vee sahinat, sulinat, kahinat - kuulda sadu või rohkemgi erinevaid keeli, miljonitelt erinevatelt inimestelt. Soov lahkuda ja avastada kasvab iga päev, iga hetk, ning selle soovi täide viin ma. Aeg, mis mind ees ootab, saab olema raske, kuid seda väärt. Oodata ei tasu kaua, sest siis võid jäädagi ootama, oota natuke ning siis mine, hüppa pea ees tundmatusse, sind võib see haavata, kuid ka õpetada :)

Tahan minna...

shaded light.

And it begins,and I couldn't be more glad than I am at this moment,this is deffinitely good and will bring much glory,faith,passion and empathy for my life.Though... I don't like to share my empathy with people,only very few get to feel that, obviously I don't know if it's good or bad but I don't care either.So either way,it begins,it started in my heart,today... I guess it's just onwards then? Well worth the risk too I'm afraid... - - - - . - . - . - Well...I guess I'm going for it *gives off that warm smile that's rarely seen from him* . Heh,and here I thought I had alot to say,when in truth there's just not much to say rather do. I wonder if nature binds me this time... If this is what it is,then I am pleased with the gift that nature has offered ^^ ,and I respect this,what I have more than I could respect anything in an ordinary situation. In short then: I am proceeding on an adventure that perhaps will be an adventure of my life, mysticism is deffinitely in my way and will be looked forward to in the future, not now.... *sight* all this rambleing and gibberish just breaks my point, but perhaps that's a good thing... This tunnel seems to have no ending just yet,but a beacon of red to guide me... Either way,those who are meant to understand what I'm saying,do and those who aren't don't, simple as that,I don't ofc choose who they are, it's just seth(chaos) who does it for me :)

first minute and a half...

As he travels on the beast of Burden
Moving up along the mountain side
As he gazes looking down the valley
No regrets but his pride

As he journeys across mountain passes
Insignificance sweeps over him
His reflection of the beauty around him
Feeling empty inside

He is running from his wildest thoughts
He is running from his everything
He is looking now to find something
Hoping he could be saved
- by Iron Maiden(The Man Who Would Be King)

Soothe

A moment of peace,
bliss,sound that will soon cease my heart,
make the pain ease.
For this ''bliss'' is not the slightest bit frightening,
sight,understanding,believeing-prevailing...
forgotten,surpressed,left behind
I will now have to forgive,rest my mind,
blind,I have grown out of sight of time.
Regrets in which there are none,
still haunt me for what I have done.
Mistakes I've made,not recently but long ago,
past,not the future,not present,
a time where I can no longer go.
Let this pain flow out of me,
close my eyes,am I free?
Spread the wings come fly with me,
this life isn't worth my time,for my time is timeless and yet to be.
Moment of infinity,forever shall last,
never again I'll fall for your ghost.
Leave,don't return,be sorry,be sad and mourn,
I serve no one and you know,
that when you time comes
then there's no escape,you have to go,don't worry i'll invite you again
perhaps tomorrow,perhaps next year,perhaps in the end.

Bliss,guide me through infinity,
for that is all that life means to me.

Insomnia

The air here is thin,I guess I really was up high,although I'm going to enjoy the downfall,it has blinded me...I'm fighting something that doesn't exist,but it stands right beside me.The unknown virus has spread over my body,poisoning and taking life from the inside...It makes me wonder ...
When will I grow tired of this fall?Will eye,or is this virus making me enjoy this downfall,maybe because I'm so ignorant I enjoy it so much...Ignorance on the other hand is delivered by negativity,am or is... my life negative?Rather bland,boring and yes negative in some cases,minds...
They have created ignorance in me...But why?perhaps they are not as simple minded as it seems ... they aren't stupid for sure,but complexity is of a lack...It makes me wonder,if they enjoy it,it seems to generate them a feeling of satisfaction and what's left is lust for more,heh... I guess I'm not that alone after all,misery attracts everyone...Though not everyone is as chaotic as me,even not the closest minds ... still they wish to harm by nature..weird...I have no reason to prevent them doing so either,they have just crossed the chaotic side of me... Which wishes them bad luck,and mostly they get it...
Though this decay of such ... from the inside,is something new,this numbness is of a different kind...I'm not tired and I don't want to sleep,but I sleep so much...a bit stressed,yes,that I am..but of what. ''Why can't I see what's in front of me?''- those words keep running around in my head...I'm being changed...should I let this happen,wow... joy for others? That doesn't cure me..They can be as joyous as they can,even because of me...but that does not cure me,so I have no reason to provide joy for the lot...


What is the cure to my life? .. . --