I hope you can help me overcome my inability to receive love.

I hope you can help me overcome my inability to receive love.

When God said He loves me personally, it broke me down, still does, I just don't know how to handle it. I don't know how to receive love. I am learning as I go, Jesus is teaching me a lot of things about himself. He is life afterall.
I'm not sure though why some people look up to me, or why they find favor in their hearts for me... I guess God has changed their hearts as well.
I don't really like recognition...I just am afraid of pride, it's an ugly face, yet I consider myself as the very least of any saint.
This itself raises a complex question. Bible says whoever desires to be greates among you, they should serve you, e.g consider themselves as the very least and only serving God and others. Humility brings exaltedness, but what does a man deserve before God? I do not think  I deserve this life, I am nothing before God, His mercy and love and wisdom is beyond me and my capacity to live and comprehend. What do I have to show before His majesty to deserve such a blessing as even knowing you this very little, as I do right now?
Yet my heart cries for you, it cries a grievous cry to the Lord, because you do not know it.
I wish you did.
And I weep, I am a broken man before the Almighty who has seen it in His wisdom to bless me with understanding and knowledge of you. I am grieved for you do not see me nor desire to know me as far as I know and see.
For God this is not an issue, His ways are infinitely higher than ours and this mountain too has been conquered. I on the other hand am just a man, I can not do the work of the Lord, the Lord of Hosts, I can not do what is appointed for Him to fulfill. For me, I am only required patience and preserverance. So I wait here, I weep and I grieve and I pray and I am brought to humility in which I delight in.
 I wish to know the Lord better and patience works itself on my deep longing desire.