The Cannabis Experience

It largely depends on the plant itself. What breed it is. The fresher it is the stronger ''hit'' you get. It works in a soothing manner, calming firstly your trachea then your oesophagus. If you let it it will relax the rest of your body starting with muscles and then ''shutting down'' the nervous system. Meditating or breathing exercises is encouraged because while your body is mostly shut down, the energies are scattered all around your body. And yes you can feel each and every energy in your body and can direct it. I'm guessing telepathy and levitation(incl telekinesis) is more likely when in this state, since you have absolute control over your entire  body's energies.
    When your body begins to shut itself off for energies to free flow, you lose your sense of time firstly, beginning to make little sense of passing moments. The feeling can be described as hopping back and forward in time, aka you are constantly reminding yourself what happened and visualizing it in your mind while making a new activity and remembering it while looking at it with your eyes.... so essentially you have two pictures swapping themselves[mental picture(in your minds eye) and visual picture(through eyes)]. I chose to go to sleep/meditate and have no real experience on how greatly it can affect your sensory systems also walking and moving is very much affected as I imagine eating and every other activity might be, such as listening etc.
    Meditation and breathing exercises. I started controlling my breathing. Taking in more and more air(and energy) with each breath until I could literally take in no more since there was no room left in my body to fill. After my breathing was corrected* I started directing energies the in my body, by then energies did not feel scattered all over the body, but more as waves throughout your body. I chose to direct energies into my main chakra points. Since each chakra has a different vibration to it and your bodily energies act as one collective wave you will experience plenty of somewhat ''shaky'' movements as your body adjusts to each energetic level. The lower chakras are much less dense than the higher ones therefore your body will move much slower along with the frequency, however once you hit the highest point your body will be shaking because the energy wavelenght is indeed very short. Each chakra point seems to have been assigned to a specific bodily organ such as lungs and heart, pineal gland, bladder etc.The spine however is controlled by all of the main chakras so it will move according to wave frequency(in the highest frequency every vertebra will be moving as to simulate the short wavelenght in a wave). When done with the meditation you will have removed blockages that don't allow energy free flow movement. This type of meditation is extremely encouraged for ill minds as it allows you to recalibrate each and every chakras energy intake at will, which in turn will make your bodily energies more balanced and less focused on the mind. In the end of the meditation your pineal gland will be active and excreting liquids(life force) which can sustain your body better than food therefore you won't have to eat.
    After effect. As I woke up, all my body seemed very functional(not that it wasn't before but it became fine tuned).  I am feeling light headed(as in I don't focus on my mind that much) and my overall body seems to be rather light and pure. The term which I will happily throw out there to describe what I'm feeling right now would be Clarity.
    Obviously this meditation can be done without the help of a stimulant, but when you're incapable for proper meditation then I highly recommend doing cannabis. For me it's a drug that allows me to enter different bodily states through mediation with ease.

* I'd like to point out that corrected means stabilized. Breathing is deep, calm and in tune with your body.
Normally, uncontrolled breathing is a separate mechanism that passively breathes, but while in a meditative state it becomes active and is one with your body.

Inside me

Inside my mind
there's a galaxy far beyond belief
Inside my soul
there is wisdom of love and adventure
Inside my heart
there is pity, hate, remorse and grief
Inside my head
there's a voice speaking in constant lecture
''it is time, you need to escape, you can no longer live as a thief,
stealing life away
without giving something in return, leaving all to decay.
It is time to leave this place in hopes to find new loves' texture,
it is now...
when you can be in your mind,soul, heart and head.''

I am a verse of the universe's song

H J says
so i like myself actually
kevin vaher says
es
yes
through me
you must understand one important aspect of life
I
am YOUR
creation
everyone is
who you see on the streets
they are fragments of your own imagination
that doesn't mean that they don't exist
but technically
the person before you
doesn't exist
until you acknowledge them existing
does this make sense?
I can still bring it down a bit more to scale
H J says
you know i wonder sometimes
hate it when i do this because i confuse myself so much
but
when they show you the video in physics class
where its your planet and then a planet thats a million times bigger
and then the galaxies
and basically take you to the line of our knowledge
and i feel like no one else ever thinks about this
but where did it actually come from
what is it
is it even here
and basically i just confuse myself so much i have to dismiss the thoughts
kevin vaher says
however
you forget an important aspect
what they show you
about galaxies
and planets and the entire universe
and universes aka multiverse
you forget an important thing
well you don't forget
because you're never introduced the idea
but what you see is juts
just*
ONE!
SINGLE
plain of existence
it doesnt' go only horizontally
but also parallel
aka dimensions
you'd think that the universe is like 3d
or actually more 2 d
you are here  .
after infinity
and in the end of infinity
you see               .
there
but in reality
you also go up
and down
on a dimensional scale
so you truly have INFINITY
so play with
H J says
okay but what i really mean it what's the 0 point
kevin vaher says
whole point?
of existing you mean?
H J says
no if you draw a graafik
4 veerandit
there's a zero
kevin vaher says
the zero point is you
which might be the hardest most simple thing to grasp
you ARE
the center of the universe
H J says
but somehow
im also nothing
kevin vaher says
haha
if that's what you believe
but on a technical scale you are literally everything
you are the universe experiencing human form through you
very hard to understand, isn't it?
but it's very
VERY
ever so simple
H J says
maybe someday
not today
kevin vaher says
nono
we can go a bit further
understand this
you are the center, how? well your universe differs from my universe, for example when you're in the same room with me, there is technically much more to that room taht you see, that I don't see
because it exists in your universe
now if you were to say that oh look.. there's that thing
and I notice it
then I'm moving reality
or SHIFTING
realities
to the reality where there indeed is the thing what you pointed at
BUT
it would still be different to how you see it
the same applies in the universe sense
you are the center of your very own universe
and you have literally infinity to play with
H J says
you could write a book about this
kevin vaher says
you can go up down left right diagonal backwards forward upsidedownsidewardswirlsaltobackwards
there's plenty of books out ther that contain this information
I am not a writer
more of a poet though
In some sense I am the verse of the universe's song

Do we really understand the meaning of freedom, aka can we cope with following our dreams?

So I've come to understand a very important aspect of human behaviour. As I browse the internet gaining my perhaps daily dosage of completely random information, I came across a post on imgur about an apparently pornstar(ex-pornstar it seems) reading children's stories to kindergarteners. It was at that moment when I realized the very moment in that particular woman's life might be a form of her dreams coming true. Let me explain this a little: we never actually have considered the ever so humongous possibility that a pornstar ..could actually have life dreams or goals to follow. A pornstar is obviously created to please a "man's" primal urge to satisfy some form of dominational  need [ on a primal scale we all ( male culture in general ) want to be in the alpha status ]. And knowing that we (males) look into porn only to get that primal surge and then forget about it. It seems to be irrelevant why would one offer herself to all these people in front of a camera - have we actually considered the possibility that this is also a form of reaching for the dream of an acceptable life that our media so sweetly lays before us and what the businesses so cruelly drag away from us. It doesn't seem appropriate that a porn star would ever even consider becoming a teacher or a kindergarten teacher one day, why is that? How does ones this one person or this one group of people really differ from any other group that has been blindly accepted in our society. In my understanding we're all slaves and bookers to some degree, maybe not physically, but mentally for sure. Is it really that difficult to accept ones profession and respect the faith they put in themselves to go through with it all? I find it odd that there are so many beatdowns in our ever so accepting community that most certainly supports your needs. I think it's time to refresh our thought patterns by starting to realize who you yourselves have become... We need to beak free of any ill thoughts of inequality if we're to evolve to the next stage of human evolution. There is not a single other species on this planet that doesn't understand and follow the notion of equality except the humans who choose not to believe in it.

Despair

What does a man do, when he has nothing to lose? Does he give up or does he find meaning? What should a man do when faced with a ''demon'', will he run or will he fight?

As time flows by my watch is still
11 pm it tells me with the faintest chill.
Time is no threat, mind is no threat
Corruption and disease have conquered my hill
This poem was never meant to be
and I won't be held in debt
I will not follow her nor he.
My own life shines as a beacon of hope
it's not drugs, but it feels like dope.
I can I will escape
I need to rid myself of this ugly estate.
It is told that the dimension will shift
I hope that soon I can catch a lift
To leave here and to see the light of day
I shall no longer feel dismay.
This poem was never meant to be
but I owe this to thee.

The zealot

Time has passed since the I've tried to figure myself out. It seems to be ricocheting back every year - depression is it? Well not exactly... though obviously I can not cover up the misanthropic symptoms occurring. But no - I'm sure this is partly depression but partly something else, something I've still missed, something I can not cure before I understand what it is. I'm still missing a part of me, something I've lost and forgotten (and no it's not sense of feeling), I've lost my luminance though partially. I know I'm currently descending and like always it's never bothered my, I don't mind to fall every now and then. But there is something scratching behind my surface nothing big, nothing too important, it's not the feeling that I need to get rid of something, I need to gain something instead. Well so far we've( it's funny how I use ''me'' in plural, I've never noticed this before) figured out the obtaining method by which I can get what I lack. What do I need in life? Well... recognition as it seems. Is this why I've been feeling rather worthless lately? No one looks up to me longer, I don't think I miss it , but I do miss recognition or in other words I haven't done ''well'' in a while now. Perhaps my up-beat attitude isn't all that useful in success because either way if I'm happy or not I still fail and I hate admitting failure(Which is quite bad when fused together with ''happy'' emotions, because I ignore my failure so it just builds up to collapse me). Now I've lost my track of thought - I can't longer concentrate properly and am feeling overwhelmed with my life. Yes of course exercise always helps with emotions and depression and whatnot, but it does not cure the soul. Ugh.. Well I can no longer make sense in this thread of post so I shall close it up now. All I have to say is,
I'm lost.

Feeling my Flame

It is good that you are standing on edge, otherwise you'd take up too much space...
---
Sitting in my corner of sanity,
I'm alone, cold and in dire need of clarity,
My mind is erasing me.
Here, where candlelight separates dark and light
my mind is waiting, letting darkness emerge over me without a fight.
My years are darkening before me, narrowing, walls are closing in
showing me the direction where I'm heading.. Hate, closure, sin.
No god, no heaven no sky can ignore my presence
I am the last, the only remaining essence
of my kind.
I'm losing my sense of tact, humor, I can no longer find
love, affection, happiness I'm losing my mind.
Even if the candles around me dim more and more
with every second that passes,
I am not in pitch black, the pale moon has a place for me in store.
Grasped when in great awe over the gigantic cave in front of me,
the darkness,
I was took, grabbed from reality.
I can now only see reality's existence,
I can see who you are, where you came from and why you're here,
I can see you, falling in love, succeed without fear, not a single tear
needed to be shed. Happiness has fallen in your lap.
I can only see everything around me, I can no longer live in it,
my ability to live, for now, has come to a stop.
I'll never give up, I'll keep going until the last candle,
me,
is no longer lit.