Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Tired

I'm so tired. I am tired of everything. All my life is just tired. In believe in Him. I'm sure He will deliver me and just unburden me from my mind.
There's so much that's just too much.
Lord, help me out of this please.

I've taken up video games again, just to cope. I should... There's that word.. should. What do I even need to do idk. I'm worn out. I'd like to spend time with Jesus, idk why I'm just not.. Or not into it. Is all a mess and I need God. I need Him, I know I do.

I'm between conflict of wanting to play video games and condemned for doing so but at the same I don't know exact why I desire this and that if I'm with God or not. I hope He fixes this mess... I kinda can't..

I'll be honest I'm fed up trying to be loved by God or liked by Him, I just need His grace and I'm tired of moving. I think He loves me as I am but I need His grace now more than ever. I got some head knowledge on what tbe things of God are that He likes, but I need His love His heart for me to fulfill His desires from me. And that's how it is and I'm not able to go further.

2 comments:

  1. I don't think it's wrong to play video games and rest at times.. Or is it?

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for your comment! It is ok to rest and break free from religious serving(trying to earn His love "becautthats what a Christian is like and does"). But playing video games is not advancing my life, also i had already once put this down before the Lord. I'd love to instead seek refuge in His presence and that's His desire as well I believe, ofc it's not always clear on how to do it.

      Turnout is that I already put my console back up for sale. But in the end I can say, it's His grace that guides me.
      And that's most important when even in our daily transgression we learn His tender mercy and His forgiveness, not towards allowing us up for transgression but how much more He is loving us with His all.

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